yesterday was finally the day after a long long winter that I could enjoy outside….not in the park but in the wood, seeing no people, hearing no disturbing sounds of cars, bicycles, telephones…I loved it…it made me feel so clam….last days I m starting to feel better…no more 20 hours sleep a day, no more stomach aches….but I think the less I feel physical pain the more its getting on my “head” :) I’ve been going thorough our blog archives looking at the memories of the time we spent together – Mr.B, Mr.T and I ….I felt so nostalgic…I know its never gonna be the same again..of course something new is coming…but as I never had kids before and for last 20 years there was no babies in my close family, this new reality that is waiting for us is so abstract that even if trying hard I can’t imagine what its gonna be like, how its gonna feel…for now all I feel is sort of a ending to one part of a story…I’ve realized that its been just tree of us till now and that we were doing pretty well..most of the time in no need to connect to world around…

  

couple of days ago Mr.B wrote me a short email saying: ” I really liked our trip to japan. i fell like we were only people there and the rest of them they were just background. love “…I just loved it because that is pretty much how the last four years felt like …..