veeery lazy weekend…my one day trip to Germany on friday was kind of exhausting so I decided to treat myself with a proper weekend…I did not do anything meaningful on saturday besides taking Mr.T for a long long long walk…today just chilled in bed for most of the day, reading books, listening to Mr.T snoring….and now is the time to finish some things…this week I’m doing some more prints and than I will start the “selling action” on ma FB page….
today was a good day…there were two surprises waiting for me…well the first one was actually only a half way surprise, but it made me happy as if it was a true one…exactly today on St. Nicolas day I found in my post box two books I ordered some time ago…Its Wildwood and it was written by Colin Meloy from Decemberists and beautifully illustrated by his wife Carson Ellis. The illustrations were actually the reason why I decided to get them but now that they’r here printed on nice paper and counting loads of pages I guess I just have to read them :)…. And the second surprise of the day was a big one…I’m not quite sure why I decided to share it with you….honestly I’m not a big fan of – what I wore today, how my hair looks today, what I ate today – type of blogs….and believe me its not because my closet counts only couple of favorite pieces or because my hair looks the same everyday and I eat whatever I see and mainly I see rise with tofu for 3 euros :)….But anyway….my mom who is a very busy person was driving by Vienna today for some meeting and called me to meet her in front of my house so she could give me St.Nicolas present…she even had not time to get of the car….as she is so busy and I am 33 I simply found that incredibly sweet…and when I looked into the package and found broccoli and Baileys I just could not help myself…hope u had a good one today as well…cheers :)
out of a blue something reminded me lyrics of a song that I actually hate…but the words just seemed so right today “too much love will kill you”….without being pathetic I find that sentence quite “thinking stimulating”
Last week was kind of a mess…and I almost did not make it today with the desk photo….but still 40 min to go till the end of the day…do you ever feel sad for no reason?
I don’t feel like writing anything today….feel very helpless and sad…I’m a vegetarian…I would never go to ZOO, bull fights, or got myself whatever made of fur….I’m trying to help to various shelter houses in Slovakia as much as I can….transporting dogs from place to place when I have a place in the car, collecting things for auctions that shelter houses organize to raise money…sending my own money to support them…because I believe that my own money makes me most happy when it brings happiness to someone else…there is a lot of ways how to help it only requires wanting….and there is sadly not many people who want…but a lot of those who have millions of reasons why they can’t help “at the moment”…and even more of those who never even play with the idea that they could help….I’m not capable of understanding why people treat animals badly…whatever…when I have to face so much cruelty performed on animals by fucking “humans” as I did today I only feel like disappearing somewhere else….it makes me feel so powerless and deeply unhappy and really really fucking angry….
new drawing for silk screen printing…I hope it will turn out well in print
its sunday…tomorrow monday and after tomorrow tuesday…that’s when Mr.B leaves to Miami for 3 weeks and I’m gonna stay in this beautiful white…and when I say beautiful I really mean it…I like those calm days when I sit at my desk and draw or think about drawing and look outside and see the rooftops that are disappearing into the white void which makes it look so surreal…or to read…recently bought 8 new books and that got me really excited…and I have a plan to go on hunt through some antiquarian bookshops and look for old illustrated books…and thats all I wanted to say on this quiet white sunday
PS: and one more thing I wanted to share…today while Mr.B was packing to Miami he found a present he got me in Kijev but forgot about….I still have to laugh when I look at it :D…that’s what I love about him…his sense of humor and originality
I feel that the older I am the more I’m trying to dig those tiny rests of child in me and bring them to life, take good care of them and hopefully make them grow bigger and bigger…Its so unfair how people when they’r kids want to grow up as fast as possible and do everything as adults…horrible..there should be some meaningful way of telling them to not hurry…to enjoy every second they have as kids because its so magic…being adult gets boring as hell because we are adults for most of our lives…so I found myself in the point where I consider those people who are funny ways negatively labeled as “the ones that never grew up” most interesting…I have feel such admiration to those who consciously resisted and reserved the luxury of keeping that childish to bigger extent than rest of us…what the hell…it is the biggest treasure one can have and should not let go of – that always surprised and curious soul, naturalness and impressibility….I remember reading a book by Jostein Gaarder – Sophie’s world when I was a teenager…I have to definitely read it again…but anyway there was this amazing description of growing up which I found so beautiful that I keep coming back to it till now….and I do think I’ve ever after read anything that magically explaining such a horrible fact :)…..so I am very often imagining myself how I am climbing up the rabbits fur and falling back on my ass….trying to find that particular part of the text I came across other quote that is just as magic….here u go
“A lot of people experience the world with the same incredulity as when a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat.…We know that the world is not all sleight of hand and deception because we are in it, we are part of it. Actually we are the white rabbit being pulled out of the hat. The only difference beween us and the white rabbit is that the rabbit does not realize it is taking part in a magic trick.” ..”As far as the white rabbit is concerned, it might be better to compare it with the whole universe. We who live here are microscopic insects existing deep down in the rabbit’s fur. But philosophers are always trying to climb up the fine hairs of the fur in order to stare right into the magician’s eyes……In one of his early letters to her Alberto had talked about the similarity between children and philosophers. She realized again that she was afraid of becoming an adult. Suppose she too ended up crawling deep down into the fur of the white rabbit that was pulled out of the universe’s top hat!…..Sophie realized that she had already begun to crawl down into the cozy rabbit’s fur, the very same rabbit that had been pulled from the top hat of the universe. But the philosopher had stopped her. He—or was it a she?—had grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her up again to the tip of the fur where she had played as a child. And there, on the outermost tips of the fine hairs, she was once again seeing the world as if for the very first time.”
“let’s say you and a small child go to a magic show, where things are made to float in the air. Which of you would have the most fun?” “I probably would.” “And why would that be?” “Because I would know how impossible it all is.” “So… for the child it’s no fun to see the laws of nature being defied before it has learned what they are. As long as we are children, we have the ability to experience things around us – but then we grow used to the world. To grow up is to get drunk on sensual experience.”
The hills step off into whiteness.
People or stars
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them.
The train leaves a line of breath.
O slow
Horse the colour of rust,
Hooves, dolorous bells –
All morning the
Morning has been blackening,
A flower left out.
My bones hold a stillness, the far
Fields melt my heart.
They threaten
To let me through to a heaven
Starless and fatherless, a dark water.
I like it even though I m not into poems…If you r thinking what to read I can only recommend The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey – besides the fact that it is a book I read some time ago and still keep thinking about it, it also has surprisingly nice cover illustration by Alaskan artist Barbara Lavallee.
Mr.B is in Kijev….I am in Vienna feeling kind of stiff and clumsy…trying to brainstorm for two graphic classes “homeworks” … but everything I do looks terribly bad…with drawing it is so strange….u can do anything, which means absolutely anything and even more than that….its like an unlimited space…you sit down take a pen and you wanna start draw…and than it comes, the shock…Its like felix Baumgartner siting on the edge of his capsula looking down to little something to the small point where he wants to get, but first he has to jump into the open space…that is how I felt today when I wanted to make a drawing for another silk screen print…like a tiny something sitting on the edge of unlimited possibilities and my head started to spin around and my breath became irregular and my hands were shaky…millions of possible ways and you don’t know which one to take…even Agatha Christie did not help…Murder of Roger Ackroyd always gets me to the mood….I guess I’m gonna take Mr.T for a walk and treat myself with some hot chocolate….
Did not get me a hot chocolate because the only place around that offers it for takeaway is Starbucks….sorry that does not sound good….I decided to do small shopping…and again the same situation…I hate doing shopping for anything and everything besides books and pencils…I thought I have it all set in mind…I was sure I know what I go for…its always the same…I enter the shop and in 10 seconds don’t know what exactly I wanted..maybe this, maybe that…and I end up getting bunch of things that I did not actually want and need but I take them anyway because its better than nothing…its ok to shop online…you have time to think it through…if u r not sure u bookmark it in the long wish list…than u forget about it and you save money …but shopping in the shops is disaster…to many things that stare at me and look like I might wanna eat them…or to many toothpastes that scream they’r the best for every problem…even those problems that I don’t know I have…So I came to cashier after 5 minutes of chaotic running around ( I always get stressed when Mr.T is waiting for me outside )…I stand in the line ….one men before me..one behind me…take the things out of the basket and than it hits me….I feel like I m watching myself in the american comedy movie…I see this stereotyped role of menstruating ( even I’m not at this blessed period of month right now )unhappy woman getting ready for pyjama party…the guy before me buys 6 beers, 2 bottles of milk and duplo…and than there is me with 3 bottles of lemon flavoured mineral water, snacks for Mr.T (to make it perfect I should be getting cat food ), 2 packs of scented tea lights and 5 different sorts of chocolate….Thank god he had that duplo
I’ve always been a great fan of daily projects or at least projects based on some sort of regularity. I’ve been doing them myself….some of them are on my web…morning graphics…one minute w and than the beds….I think that the process itself is of biggest importance because it keeps me connected to reality and gives me sense of doing even on days when I actually don’t do anything meaningful….I thought Mr. Master would be another daily based project because he just came one day, we hanged out and everything was so easy….but things changed as I moved back to Vienna…Mr. Master is still around we do have our little chats but I have no time to capture his life and share it with the rest of the world regularly…I got lost in time and space little bit, trying to find my place again after not being in Vienna for 7 months…getting back to University and having the mind occupied with the content of classes that I’m taking…Than I made the decision that I will give a chance to digital camera, at least in some situations to shorten some processes and make some things go faster so I’d have time for others….Well and right at the moment when I looked through the viewfinder I knew its a chance for another daily project….When I was doing beds it was very important to have the data back in the camera as the analog process caused that sometimes I had the film developed with 2 or 3 months delay…dates on the photos were useful – necessary…Now I snap the photo and its in my computer right away…this ultra fast reality made me little confused and I started to think how should I progress…which is the proper form for new project…how to go on with it…until I decided that the best I can do is stop analyzing it and just do it as it comes…without any additional thinking…if there is any idea behind it at all it is super simple…manual processes captured by digital camera….well lets see what it brings….I’m curios myself
Homo sapiens is poised to become the greatest catastrophic agent since a giant asteroid collided with the Earth sixty-five million years ago, wiping out half the world’s species in a geological instant. – Dr. Richard Leakey
We have come to look at our planet as a resource for our species, which is funny when you think that the planet has been around for about five billion years, and Homo sapiens for perhaps one hundred thousand. We have acquired an arrogance about ourselves that I find frightening. We have come to feel that we are so far apart from the rest of nature that we have but to command. – Marston Bates
I don't want my life to be a reason for other's life to be a suffering that is why I am vegan and that is how I want to raise my son. I love my little family, birds, rainy days and life on the road. I believe in life before death :).